A Baby Named Cas
by Artamial
Summary: A mishap with a witch comes with an unexpected consequence: Castiel has beed turned into a eight month old baby and the Winchester seek Gabriel's help to find the witch and try and reverse him. However, with creatures that go bump in the night trying to kill them and an army of angels on their back the task may prove more trouble than it's worth. AU! Destiel, Sabriel. m/m


**Universal Disclaimer: **I do not claim to be the creator of Supernatural and had no participation in its creation. Therefore I do not legally hold rights to the characters, merchandise, or any other products produced by the true creators. I only own the right to take the characters (until someone tells me otherwise) and do whatever the fuck I want with them. The only thing I own are these fucking plot bunnies that need to leave me the fuck alone I do not make money off of twisting the characters in sick, demented ways.

**Title: **A Baby Named Cas

**Author: **Velajuel Fermin

**Rating: **M

**Warnings: **Crack fic with a lot of curssing, violence and slash m/m pairing

**Author's Note: **I REGRET NOTHING!

_**A Baby Named Cas**_

**Chapter One:** A Mishap

"…Are you sure that's Cas?" Sam asked a skeptical look on his face.

Dean glared daggers at his younger brother as he held a tiny infant no more than a few months old in his arms. "Of course I'm sure!" he snapped. "When that bitch tried to electrocute the fuck out of me Cas appeared and there was a flash of light and all that was standing where Cas was…was this thing!"

The infant in Dean's arms squirmed at the loud tone Dean was using before settling back down in with a soft sigh. The Winchester brothers were currently in an old motel room in Mississippi after an exhausting day of all around fuckary and trying to solve a very big problem in the form of a small child.

Sam looked at the baby again before looking back at Dean.

"Not to sound like an ass, but I don't believe that's Castiel. I think that witch did hit you with a lightning bolt and jumbled whatever brain cells you have left in that head of yours making you believe that's Cas."

"I saw him turn into a baby!" Dean snarled.

He didn't know how this happened, but for some odd reason, he was now holding a very human baby Castiel and he was severely pissed off with a so called witch he was going to enjoy butchering once he caught up to her

It all started three hours ago.

They were on the road, loud AC/DC blaring from the loud speakers of Dean's 67 Chevy Impala, filling the empty silence between the two Winchester brothers. The last hunt, the one they were currently driving away from was supposed to be an easy 'in-and-out' no questions asked but it turned into the biggest disappointment of their career. Well, disappointment was an understatement of the year; more like someone took a shit on their entire life and pissed on their ancestor's gave just to show how little they were actually worth to the world.

Erick Penola was the name and coning saps was his game.

Dean and Sam had been on their way to Mississippi to investigate a ghost haunting some old woman's home when Erick called about spooky activity happening. Bobby had given him their number and he claimed his neighborhood was infested with demonic entities. He needed help banishing them back to hell and there were no other hunters near Washington. Of course, Sam wanted to check it out, see if it had anything to do with Lilith and it was on their way to so it wouldn't hurt them to check it out.

Dean outright said there wouldn't be a large gathering of demons even if Lilith was behind it. The person either was on drugs or was pranking the hell out of them for some unexplainable reason. Unfortunately, Sam's puppy eyed look did the elder brother in and he made a U-turn towards Washington. Dean had known the guy was an asshole the moment they arrived in the so-called "demon infested wasteland" and it was confirmed when said asshole jumped out of his home wearing a red devil's mask.

Dean Winchester was looking forward to a night of relaxation, drinking and screwing some hot chick at a bar while Sam, his younger brother read or searched online for a new hunt. Kill witch, return to the motel and go out after they settled in. Cut and dry, in and out, hack the witch and call it a night. See, simple and quick.

But nothing ever seemed to go the Winchester's way.

On their way back to their shitty motel in "fuck-if-they-even-know-the-name-of-the-street" Dean's baby broke down on the side of "you're-now-stuck-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place" road.

Dean cursed of course, swearing up and down the sidewalk while Sam patiently waited for his angered older brother to finish his ranting. After about thirty minutes, Dean finally calmed down enough to call for Castiel and like the winged bastard he was, didn't answer after the first five times.

So, they sat and waited. Both their phones were dead and there was not a gas station within fifty miles of where they were.

So Dean cursed some more.

Then their night got better when a witch named Ellen crossed their path. It was comically how she just stumbled upon the two brothers (in her opinion anyways) and one appeared to be close to popping a blood vessel in their brain. Dean didn't take her mocking well and began to fire at her as Sam tried to pacify him; she hadn't done anything wrong from what they know so he shouldn't be firing blindly and wasting their amo. Of course, drop dead brunette in tight leather didn't take the gesture lightly and was about to call upon the heavens to send a lightning bolt Dean's ass when, poof, along came the Winchester Guardian Angel.

There was a flash and the sound of a whistle being blown and before anyone knew what was happened, the witch was gone and in front of Dean was a baby sitting on the streets with too big of clothes surrounding his body.

Luckily a tow truck was driving down the road and helped them to the nearest motel, which was where they were in now trying to figure out what the hell to do!

"Maybe we should call Gabriel?" Sam suggested.

"You call him," Dean grumbled, hosting baby Castiel over his left shoulder so he could use a free hand to dial Bobby's number. "I have to call Bobby and ask about any witch activity around this area to see if that bitch might still be around."

Sam wouldn't help the upturn of his lips at his brother's annoyance and chuckled. "I think you're just mad cause that witch insulted your-"

"Finish that sentence Sammy and you will find yourself without a dick to piss out of," Dean bit out as he glared from over his shoulder.

Castiel must have found it funny because he started giggling madly, which surprised the two brothers. Dean smirked smugly at Sam, an air of superiority around him.

"Oh look, little Cas likes when I threaten you."

A shoe went flying across the room at him and Cas laughed harder when it hit Dean in the head.

"Oh loo, Cas finds you being in pain amusing," Sam retorted.

"Oh bite me."

**To be Continued…**

**Author's Note: **This is just for fun. Not to be taken seriously XD


End file.
